You should know that I’m an ass.
Just outside my office, there’s three bicycles that have been locked to a bike rack for over five years. The school apparently has a policy that prohibits it from cutting bike locks; they’ll be there forever.
Last summer I thought it’d be funny to turn the three perma-bikes into an Art Installation.
The Duck Tape Bike
My artistic vision for the premier bike could be summed up in three words: bright, cheap, and circuseriffic. Naturally, I would achieve my vision in Duck Tape.
Last summer was its unveiling. This spring, shiny tinsel was added to reflect the sun and to confuse onlookers. Today, some additional tinsel was added to the handlebars, and some tape was replaced.
The Fringe Bike
I artistically pictured a bike covered with crocheted or knitted yarn, evoking the natural world of spider webs and comfy sweaters. It was gonna look like a freakin’ Vermont ski lodge as decorated by your grandmother.
Slight problem: I can’t crochet or knit. I tried to learn, Denise did her best to teach me, but I’m inept. On the other hand, I can use scissors and I can tie simple knots. The fringe bike was born!
The Ivy Bike
I was hoping to juxtapose the storied ivy-covered walls of this esteemed ivy-covered college with the hard realities of the rusted bike rack. Art critics would talk about the cycle of life. Snarky art critics would refer to it as the bi-cycle of life.
Juxtaposing is hard, so work didn’t begin on The Ivy Bike until this spring. Because the dollar store charges less for plastic flowers than for plastic ivy, the project was reshaped, but only in an artistic way of course.
A Tri-Cacophony of Artsiness
When I’m outside working on these bikes, friends and coworkers come by, joke, and make suggestions. Most strangers, students, and other people try to ignore me and pretend they don’t see what I’m doing. But I talked with a couple today who’ve offered to be the first outside contributors to the Great Artsy Bicycle Installation. I can’t wait to see what they’re going to add.
The Great Artsy Bicycle Installation is an ongoing project. It is located on the grounds of a New England college campus in a small parking lot at the end of a nondescript alleyway next to a shrubbery. Admission is free, and it’s always open to the inquisitive public.